Why I Run...

When I was a kid, and even into my teenage years, when I was upset, I would run. When I was happy, I would run. When I was bored, I would run. When my best friend and I got into a fight, I would run (There was one memorable time when my best friend’s sister and I got into a fight and I climbed a tree. But that is a whole different storyJ). The point is that I ran. I loved to run for any reason and even for no reason at all. It was healing, calming, exciting all rolled into one.

Then, exactly 15 years ago today, my world fell apart. My Dad died. My Dad. I could never talk to him again. He couldn’t teach me anything again. He couldn’t make a bad joke that I would give a sympathy laugh to again. When my Mom told me, my body registered what she said before my mind did. I fell, my knees gave out and I fell to the ground before I even realized what exactly she said. There was no time for a run then. No ability for one even. We had to get home, pack and drive to Louisiana where the rest of my family was and where my dad would be buried. No time for a cleansing run. Only time to drive. Only time to build up some walls that might protect me in the days to come.

Skip to getting to the funeral home where I am expected to help my MeeMaw pick out a casket. We chose a nice blue one that I think my Dad would have liked…I guess. Time for the family only viewing. What a torturous tradition. Why do we do that? Closure? Wasn’t closure for me. In fact, it was the exact opposite. One glance, one tiny glance, at the coffin where my dad lay so still and white and the walls I had so carefully built up came crumbling down. I turned and fled. That’s the only way to describe it. I fled. I only wanted away. I didn’t care where, only away. I ran down the aisle, out the door of that horrible room and busted out of the front door as fast as I possibly could. I was gone and I was not coming back. Ever.

My sweet, strong uncle, who had just lost his only sibling, reacted too quickly. He caught me around the waist as I ran through the door. I wasn’t fast enough. He held me while I screamed at him to let me go. He held me while I screamed that my dad was dead, really dead. He held me while I cried.

His reaction was the best thing for me at the time. I was a grieving sixteen year old girl with no money or cell phone on me, in a strange town, no way to protect myself if the need arose (although had it done so, I think my unspeakable grief and anger would have gotten the job done).The only problem is that I would never get that cleansing run that I so desperately needed. I would only build up more walls. I would never actually deal with any of my feelings. Life would go on. I would watch them bury my dad, I would drive back to Arkansas, try to go back to school, to work and survive. I would get married at a ridiculously young age, give birth to my first daughter a year later. My marriage would turn extremely abusive, bit by bit. I would have 2 more daughters and I would nearly lose my life getting out of a marriage that was only a sham anyway. And still I would not get that cleansing run. I would only build more walls.

I met Joseph, we got married and had our first son. We both got our degrees and tried not to be too stressed out. I still didn’t run. Not for happiness, which I certainly felt. Not for stress, which I certainly had but the walls I built did begin to fall, piece by piece. Joseph adopted my daughters, which only made sense as he was the only father they knew and the only one who deserved them. I still didn’t run. We had our sweet Josiah, our little surprise, and he has completed our family in so many ways. And still I didn’t run

Then one day, I decided to. I had only one reason in mind: to lose weight. But when I ran something unexpected happened. I began to remember my love for it. I began to remember why I had done it in the past. What was left of the walls that I built came down. I grieved, I rejoiced, I ran.

So, why do I run? I run for stress relief. I run because I am happy. I run to work out. I run for sanity in my crazy life. I run to meet my goals. I run to improve myself. I run when I am upset. I run when I am overwhelmed. I run when I am confused. I run because I can. I run because I am alive and my Dad isn’t. I run BECAUSE. I. AM. ALIVE.

~KC

Exercise can = Spiritual...Who knew?

Wow! Things have been so crazy the last couple of weeks! Crazy! Josiah has been sick. Kara broke her nose playing basketball at lunch. Appointments, work, and the list goes on. But there are 2 things that have kept me from going crazy myself. One is the time our running group has spent at lunch preparing for the River Valley Run. The other is my G-Fit class. Without these to really take my mind off things, I may have already found a rock to crawl underJ

Last Friday at G-fit, I had an epiphany. Working out, running, just exercise in general can totally be a spiritual experience. We were doing PiYo (a combination of Pilates and Yoga) and the music that was playing was of the Gospel variety. There was just something very calming about it all. And I realized that striving to get into better shape is a righteous thing to do. We are told over and over in the scriptures that our bodies are Temples. We are told to take care of them. Some of us have, some of us haven’t. All of us could improve in some way or another. As we were working out, our trainer, Gabby, reminded us that we are all important. All of us. And we should treat each other that way. Not just our G-fit friends but people we interact with everyday. We shouldn’t judge them because we don’t know what they may have gone, or are going, through. And she was absolutely right!

Saturday was a big day! We were running the race we had been training for. Our 5kers worked so hard. Some of the literally went from couch to 5k! Paula, Joey and I were running the 10k and each of us had a goal we wanted to crush. And we did it! We all did it! Our 5kers ran the best ever and finished so strong. Paula crushed her goal. Joey beat his goal and won 3^rd place in his age division. And I am so proud of them all! I am equally proud of myself, and I think its okay to admit thatJ I beat my time goal but I also did not walk at all!!! It was my first race that I ran the whole way. What makes that even better is that there were lots of hills. One of them I had been having a mental battle with for a week. I would not let it beat me. And guess what? It didn’t! I even had a moment at the top of the hill when I wanted to do the whole ‘Rocky Dance at the Top of the Steps’ thing. But I had miles to go and a goal to meet so I refrainedJ The cool thing was that at mile 2, just before the monster hill, there was sign with a verse on it. ‘I can do all things through Christ.’ That really lifted my heart and reminded me that I can beat this hill. I can do it! I won’t lie, I said a little prayer going up it, lol. And I made it! Then I felt so strong, like I could just keep going, so I did. And there were two more times that I saw verse signs and both came just as I was beginning to feel weak.

There was a part of the course that I had been looking forward to. It was a downhill section through the woods. When I ran it for practice, I felt exhilarated at that point. It comes at a great time in the race because after all the uphill, you need something that makes you feel fast. I kid you not, when I started down it, I let out a ‘woohooo’ and a giggle! Audible and everything. People probably thought I was insane but my heart was full of joy. And I was having a blast! All I could think about was that our 5kers would have been done by then and that Joey and Paula were getting close to the finish line and I felt strong and capable. I felt like we were all blessed to be able to do this and to love to do it. Definitely blessed!

~KC

 

Kacey's Theories of Relativity

Relativity as it pertains to Time:

When you are working out by yourself, time passes soooo slowly. When you are working out with a group, time passes a bit more quickly. When you are watching your kids grow up, time doesn’t pass so much as it fast-forwards…X 10.

Relativity as it pertains to Beauty:

That girl that is dressed to the nines, hair fixed, nails manicured? She is beautiful. That same girl at the park, hair up in a ponytail, comfy clothes on, is more beautiful than you thought because of the love she shines while pushing her baby in a swing.

Relativity as it pertains to Cold:

Winter in Arkansas has its cold days. Spend a winter in Alaska and all of a sudden Arkansas feels downright tropical.  Spend a day in one of the meeting rooms at Golden Living and all of a sudden Alaska feels downright tropical.

Relativity as it pertains to Giving it Your All:

Beginning of a work out, run to half court and back (down-and-backs) giving It your all: no problem run full out, touch the line, run full out. Do that 10 times. End of an hour long workout: 4 down-and-backs, giving it your all: limp as quickly as you can to half court, barely touch the line without falling over, stumble back to the baseline. Legs trembling like jello the whole time.

Relativity as it Pertains to Fitness Levels:

The girl next to you is kicking butt in the workout. Sweating hard, pushing herself and really going at it. The girl next to her doesn’t seem to be doing as much as she is, but then Girl B has 100 pounds on Girl A. Girl B is here to make some drastic changes in her life to improve her health. She too, is sweating hard, pushing herself and really going at it. It may not seem like she is doing as much as Girl A but she is. Her level of effort is just as high and she is rocking it!

The point of this post:

So many things are relative, but we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others anyway. The point of a workout regimen is not to become as fit as the trainer, or as the girl next to you, or as the stranger you see running in the park. The point of a workout regimen is for YOU to improve YOUR fitness level. Do not make the mistake of comparing your beginning to someone else’s middle or end!

Dr. Suess’s thoughts on comparing yourself to others:

‘Today You are You,
That is truer than true.
There is no one alive
Who is Youer than You.'

~KC

5 am Torture? Yes, Please...What have I Done?!?!?!

So I did a really crazy thing today but I think its going to be fun...kinda. I put my Insanity Challenge on hold and signed up for a 5am M-F boot camp class!!! Its called G-Fit and its a little intimidating but I went to orientation this evening and I liked it! Of course, the working out hasn't started yet so we will see how it goes tomorrow:-) But I liked the sound of it. The trainers were fun and outgoing and encouraging. All of which is important. And since I really believe that Fit > Skinny, this fits right in with my overall plan. I should lose weight and inches, but I should also see a defnite improvement in my fitness level. So I'm excited! And, you may be thinking that 5am is crazy but I have to do stuff like this on 'my own time'. I can't take too much time away from family. So this works perfectly because family will be sleeping:-) That's why running on my lunch break works out, because its my time. Its a bit of a sacrifice because I like to sleep and it is stinking COLD out there! But let the adventure begin because I want to be a G-Fit SURVIVOR!!!!!!

Baby Steps and {un}Sweet Success

So what's the story, Morning Glory?

These past few days I have had some triumphant moments. Sunday I baked cupcakes to bring to church for some one's birthday. I did not eat the left over batter (spare me the salmonella poisoning lecture, but I usually do;-), nor did I eat any of the icing. To top that off, there was one cupcake that wouldn't fit in the container. I cradled that sweet little cupcake in my hands as I brought it to my husband asking what to do with it, lol! My usual solution is simple: eat it, duh. But I didn't. Instead, I let each of the kids have a cupcake before church.

Moving on to Monday. I started out the day with a flat tire that I had to change. No big deal really, except my jack wasn't working right (or more likely, I wasn't using it right) and it took me a while to get it changed. By the time I was done, I was hot and sweaty and dirty and late for work, My normal reaction to that? Find the nearest junk food and eat it. And that was my reaction...except I didn't. I thought about it and then made the conscious choice to not let my stresses dictate my diet.

And now on to Tuesday and the grand re-opening in our Dining Center at Golden Living. To celebrate the new additions they were giving away free cake (read FREE CAKE!!!). But I had just gotten finished running and I have specific goals for this week so I skipped the cake, I SKIPPED FREE CAKE!!! It looked pretty yummy too:-) I did, late in the day get the funnel cake they were having at snack time. Before you say WHAT?! read this: It was barely a sixth (if that because was also pretty thin) of the size you get at a fair and I felt bad about deciding to get it. So I didn't even eat all of it. All in all, I have had a successful few days.

Add those good choices to my running and Insanity workouts, and I am seeing pounds, inches, and most importantly, fat come right off.

So baby steps and {un}sweet success...


~KC

A Little Motivation

So I finished week 1 of Insanity and it wasn't so bad...what I could do of it, lol. Oh who am I kidding, even what I could do of it had me dripping sweat and wishing I was back in my warm comfy bed! It is a great way to start the morning though and keeps me going through the day. Andrew and I had karate class last night, too, and Sensei Seahorn really put us through the paces. It was awesome fun!

So I said something about motivation in the title of this post. Welllllll, I have two topics that I want to type about that I think will motivate everyone.

The first one is our Couch 2 5k group (C25k) at work. We finished up week 5 last Thursday. At the beginning of this venture, Paula and I had a hard time convincing our group that they could, in fact, do it. It is a bit scary when you look at the plan if you haven't ran in a while, this is true. The first week we had to run 90 seconds, then walk 90 seconds, then repeat about 8 times. Doesn't sound like too much, but to a first timer, that is daunting. Each week the amount of running goes up. On Thursday of last week, the plan called for 20 solid minutes of running! And our group killed it!!!! They really rocked! Not only did they finish but they had a decent pace the whole time! What a sense of pride and accomplishment. So the motivation? Well, did you read the paragraph? LOL! It CAN be done. It really can be. It may seem like it can't but just keep going and you will find yourself capable of way more than you thought possible.

The second topic is body fat percentage versus weight. A few years ago, I saw a snippet of some program on TV that really stuck with me. A woman was about to start a program to lose weight. Her sister was worried about her and wanted her to drop some pounds. Before she started this, the instructor measured her BF% by having her submersed in water (the most accurate way to do this). Just for kicks he also measured her sister. Turns out that her thin sister's BF% was nearly as high as hers. Her sister didn't understand the concept of Fit > Skinny! Of course we want to be thin to some degree, but we really need to make sure our BF% is where it should be.

Just to give you an idea of this, here is my weigh in last week vs this morning:
218.8 lbs x 45.8% BF (don't judge too harshly please:-) = 100.21 lbs of BF (gross!!!)
217.0 lbs x 45.1% BF = 97.86 lbs of BF

So while it looks like I only lost 1.8 lbs (which isn't too bad for a week anyway) I actually lost 2.34 lbs of BF! So why the difference? I gained some lean muscle mass! And that will help me burn more calories. The loss of body fat is the more important number for sure!

Are you motivated yet?
~KC

Insane? Maybe...

This weekend I succumbed to the Zombie Apocalypse! ROFL:-) The Thriller at Tenkiller 5k was a blast...and not just a blast of frigid air. We had to employ evasive maneuvers to get away from the zombies. My freind, Paula, said she even had to do some 360s to get around them. Lol, maybe I should have tried those because she was a survivor:-) I made it to the last mile with all my flags but I was Zombie bait after that. It was cold, it even sleeted on us! But I felt alive...even though I wasnt, ha! I can't wait to do it again next year.

If that isn't insane enough, I started the Insanity Challenge this morning. For those of you who don't know, it is similar to P90x, but different. The fit test was all I had to do this morning. I will post the results along with the next fit test I have to do, but lets just say that I have a looooooong way to go. That's why I am doing it though and I am up for the challenge!

Andrew and I also finally got back to karate class last night for the first time in nearly 3 weeks. It felt really good to get back to it. AND we started learning our first Kata. That may not sound all that exciting, but believe me, it was:-)

Things are going well. I run at lunch with a C25k group 3 days a week. It helps me work on my speed. That's the only time I have to run lately though since it is so dark in the morning and there are no street lights on our training route at home. That's okay though.

I am ready for the day! Bring it:-)

~KC